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Divorce Attorney ARE YOU GOING THROUGH A DIVORCE? TRYING TO FIND A GOOD DIVORCE ATTORNEY? HOW TO PICK A DIVORCE ATTORNEY Even in the best of circumstances, divorce is hard. If yours is amicable count yourself lucky. Most aren’t, and many that begin friendly will change once the real negotiating begins. You’ll fare best if you follow a few basic steps: TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF FIRST - If you’re a basket case you will get taken advantage of. This is a tuff time. Surround yourself with friends and family. Make time for activities that you enjoy. Take flying lessons, learn to dance, do something that you’ve always wanted to do. Get plenty of rest. Make new friends, but don’t jump in to another exclusive relationship in a misguided attempt to rebuild your lagging self-esteem. Stay active with people, and resist the temptation to talk to them about your divorce. In the beginning find one or two really good friends or family who will agree to let you cry and scream and dump all your garbage at their doorstep. Spare the rest of your friends or soon you won’t have many. DON’T BE A VICTIM - Some people believe that if they let an estranged spouse take advantage of them that the ex will feel sorry for them and see the error of their ways, or that their friends will at least see that the ex is unreasonable, or that someone will see how unfair things are and fix it. This is another good way to get really screwed. Often in the midst of depression people don’t even care if they get screwed. But believe me, you’ll care later. Some divorce agreements affect people the whole rest of their lives. Don’t give up before you start. DON’T RETALIATE - When your ex-to-be steals, lies, and cheats they’ll get caught. And they’ll look bad. They’ll loose credibility. And it will subtly strengthen your case if you don’t get caught doing the same stuff. Don’t however expect that the Judge will throw them in jail for their bad behavior. This rarely happens. FIND A GOOD ATTORNEY - A good divorce attorney will help you through your grief like a psychologist, protect you like a bouncer, and negotiate for you like a car salesman. And on occasion, they will have to kindly tell you that you are full of crap…like a close friend. Finding a person that is good in all these areas, and that clicks with your personality is harder than finding a spouse. You’ll know when you’ve found them. Don’t settle for less. This is liable to be a pitched battle. Choose carefully who you depend on. It goes without saying that this is not the time to go low-bid. A child-support settlement that is just $300 per month more favorable to you over 16 years will save you $57,600, and it only goes up from there. Don’t be penny-wise and pound-foolish. DON’T BE AFRAID TO CHANGE ATTORNEYS MIDSTREAM - Do you feel like you’re constantly loosing the little battles along the way? You probably are. Don’t be afraid to switch attorneys anywhere along the way if you’re not getting the representation that you deserve. Now is not the time to be timid. UNDERSTAND THAT YOU GET WHAT YOU NEGOTIATE, NOT WHAT’S FAIR! - We would like to believe that judges are fair, that attorney-judge relationships are not bias, that attorneys and judges will take the time to understand what’s really going on in your case despite their backlog of cases, and that the tooth fairy will put money under your kids pillows so you can stop doing it for them. Get real. Some Judges can’t stand some Attorneys. Is it yours? Some attorneys have never taken a single case to trial. Is it yours? How much leverage does an attorney like this have when facing an attorney that has actual trial experience. Good attorneys take charge. You can tell they’re working all the angles, cultivating their relationships with mediators, judges, appraisers, psychologists, preparing the majority of the documents. You can see this happening. Does this description fit your attorney or your ex’s? Don’t expect fair. Get good representation. TRY TO KEEP YOUR KIDS OUT OF IT - Your kids must love both their parents to be healthy and happy. Do not undermine this no matter what your ex’s failings as a person or a parent. Some exs try to tell the children negative stories to win them over. If this happens to you, explain to your children that there are two sides to every story. That it is important to you that they love both their parents. Explain that if Dad says something negative about Mom it hurts them and if Mom straightens it out and makes them feel negative about Dad that doesn’t make everything better…it just makes them hurt different. The only way to stop it is for someone to refuse to participate. Ultimately the children will love you based on how you treat them…not on what someone else says. Take them out for ice cream, and be the bigger person. They may not snap right away, but years later it will pay off in spades. GET SOME GOOD REAL WORLD ADVICE FROM SOMEONE WHO’S BEEN THERE - There are certain real world issues that Attorneys suggest to you. Get as much info as you can from people who have been there. Often an attorney can answer a question and tell you that something will work when they could not have recommended to you if you hadn’t asked. This is especially true if you have complicated child custody issues, substantial separate property issues, or if you own a business. |
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This web site was created to assist patients, family, and friends in learning about mesothelioma and other asbestos related injuries. If you or someone you know is suffering from mesothelioma, asbestosis, lung cancer, or another asbestos related illness, than hopefully the information provided on this site will be of benefit to you. |
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Asbestos & Mesothelioma Information - Mesothelioma - Asbestosis - Asbestos This web site was developed as a resource for mesothelioma patients and their families. The information has not been prepared or endorsed by medical or legal professionals. Nothing on this site should be taken as medical or legal advice. Patients should consult a physician for medical advice and an attorney for legal advice. |